My Friend History living with AIDS

23 01 2009

My Story.
I am a mother of four children. I was born on 22nd June of 1982 in
Jayapura. I have a long interesting story in my life that I want to
share here. When I was 1 year old, my father died and my mother
remarried to my step father. I am the fourth child of seven siblings
in the family. Living with step father and step siblings was like a
nightmare to me because I was abused by my siblings so that in the
junior high school, I was running away from my problem by consuming
alcohol until drunk and sinking in to the negative environment and.
To fill my needs to get drunk, I became a prostitute.
Afterwards in 1998, sexual intercourse with my customer made me
pregnant. I decided to give a birth and then the baby is raised in
the Laskar Kristus orphanage. Then in 2000, I was pregnant again by
other customer. I was giving a birth to the second child who was
adopted then by my sister. Also in the same year, I was doing VCT
which the result is quite shocking for me, I have HIV positive. Yet
because I was being addicted by alcohol, aica aibon, hashish, and
dextro, I had to keep on moving on my activity as a prostitute and
then in 2002 was been pregnant again. But one day when I was being
drunk, I slipped and felt. The baby was died. At that time, I got
support from one of the NGO that moves in the field of HIV. But I
felt uncomfortable with the environment of that NGO, so I was coming
back to my old friends to get drunk and prostituted myself again.
Knowing that I have HIV made me feels that my life was almost over
and I thought that I had to focus on searching for happiness for me
before I died. Moreover, I did risky behavior such as thieving others
houses, or stealing my prostitution customer. I also had to be under
arrest by police and get the punishment.
Unfortunately I got the wrong information about HIV from NGO who was
taking care of me by the time. They told me that many PLWHA died
because consuming ARV. It was making me scared to check my condition
and start ARV therapy.
In 2008, I was being pregnant for the fourth times. At that moment, I
was being handled by other NGO. But that NGO was overwhelmed by my
habit which are getting drunk so often and keeping on being
prostitute to get money and alcohol.
Finally on October 2008, I was sent by that NGO to Recovery Center.
On the first day I came, I had just drunk SBY (Saguer Buatan Yoka –
local alcohol). Initially, I felt bored in Yakita, but then I can
find a new hope in Yakita, especially in facing the reality about HIV
that I have. I got much information about HIV those so much help me
to start the treatment correctly. When my pregnancy stepped on the
sixth months, I was also prepared to start ARV therapy because my CD4
was 348. The doctor offer caesar operation to me. I got depressed
hearing that but Yakita staffs had motivated me and we prayed to God
for all of this. The caesar operation was planned to be done on 24th
December of 2008 and the ARV therapy on 10 November 2008, but we only
can plan, still God Who decides everything. On 10th November of 2008,
I started to get stomachache and on 13th November of 2008, I was
giving a birth prematurely in hospital. My baby names Ishak. He is
1,8 Kg when he was born and poorly he got respiration and digestive
complication. On the second day of his born, he has to go back to The
Lord. Doctor also predicted that Ishak had already had HIV in his
body because his digestive canal got bloody at the last time. I was
being stressed for a couple of days, but Yakita big family kept
support me so that I could no longer feel frustrated.
This is the turning point for me because through this incident, I
started to realize about the importance of appreciating life and
being grateful. I then believed that what had been told by Yakita
staffs on every session and the 12 steps recovery program based on
Narcotic and HIV Anonymous is right.
The steps contain of some good lessons such as we admitted that we
were powerless over our addiction that our lives had become
unmanageable. We also came to believe there is power greater from
ourselves could restore us to sanity. We make decision to turn our
will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. We
also have to know who we are and help one another.
One week after the hardest point of my life, I start to stand up and
smile again. I see this life in a better hope. I believe that those
are priceless experiences God has admitted to happen in my life. I
also realize that I should do something to change my condition,
change my life to the better one, off course by the help from the
higher power than myself. I also remember the good words from
Recovery Center that is wailed over and over, “Faith without work is
death”.
At the beginning of December of 2008, I proceeded to do outreach to
Narcotics Prison in Doyo Baru, Sentani. By the time, Yakita staff was
bringing the material about HIV and opening his status. Seeing that,
I was wondering why he was courageous to open his status there…? Then
I got the insight from discussing it with Yakita big family. In
session, I was being told that opening status can be something
valuable for us. The point is to make others understand what we feel
and through, so that it gives information and life lesson in order
that they don’t do the same thing and also gives the strength for
PLWHA like me.
So I came to decision to open my status too to others. I want to
share about the experiences I have and help my old friends to get up
for their dark life. I also realize that the lack of information can
make the issue gets worse, so I am trying to spread the information
about addiction and HIV to others, because though some people see me
as a trash, because I have HIV…but I’m a trash that get up from the
dirty bin, and move to the field of grape trees, because I know,
trash in the field of grape will be trampled till destroyed and
rotten. Then when the trash is rotten, it will be manure for the
grape trees that can make it grow in such a way that it can be dense
of fruit on the trees. The trash can be a reminder too for the grape
trees, to be FRUITFULL and DON’T DRY. Because when The owner comes
and roots it up, it will be thrown to the flame of fire, then it’s
late to regret.”

__._,_.___


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